Metamorphosis: The Essence of Magic
by Latica
Summary: 10 years after she became the Card Mistress, Sakura has fallen out of love with magic. Expecting the quiet life of a graduate student in Tokyo, Sakura is thrown back into the world of magic when a new enemy appears and threatens to hurt those she holds dear. No longer innocent and naive, 22 year old Sakura must rediscover the essence of magic in order to defeat the darkness.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Magic is the essence of the universe, it envelops everything around us to the point most people don't even notice it's there. Wielders of this essence have been known for many names throughout time: witches, sorceresses, wizards, magicians. It is said that the universe itself granted them the power to shape the world, for better or for worse.

At least that's what it says in the grimoire.

Maybe my role in the world was over and done with when I finally became the Card Mistress and transformed all the Clow Cards into Sakura Cards. The Card Mistress, what a joke. I can't even remember the last time I called upon the power of the cards; perhaps it was sometime around the time I finished high school-when I summoned _Flower_ to rain down cherry blossoms on graduation.

More than ten years have passed since I actually ventured out on any exciting adventure with my best friend Tomoyo; since I ran around Tomoeda wearing her homemade costumes, posing for the ever present camcorder. Her videos sre the only reminder of what I did for the universe, of the great friends I made along the way. But Syaoran went back to Hong Kong to be with his clan, and even Eriol-who still visits from time to time-permanently moved back to England. Do they still practice magic? Am I the only one who left it behind?

Bottom line is that I've outgrown magic.

Mentally, at least. Throughout the years my powers have become restless, constantly humming in my veins-reminding me that I'm not like everybody else. But I can't spend my life dwelling on the past. I'm a grown woman for God's sake! I have other priorities, like settling down in my Tokyo apartment and getting my Master's degree in History. Magic would just be a distraction. It's time to concentrate on the real world.

After all, magic doesn't pay the bills.

-X-

I looked at the boxes crowding my room, wondering to myself why I brought so much stuff to Tokyo. Tomoeda was just outside of Tokyo, but somewhere in the back of my mind I absolutely needed to bring two boxes worth of photo albums and other sentimental items that I had collected over the years. I didn't need to open the second box to know what was inside. I felt the magic stir within the cards the closer I got the box, a pang of guilt hit me straight across the chest. My magic stirred in response as I opened the box and took out the pink spell book. I held all fifty-three cards in my hands, feeling their need to be released.

But that isn't me anymore.

I closed the spell book and shoved it in my desk drawer. Out of sight, out of mind. I unpacked the rest of the box in silence, placing my old track and cheerleading trophies on the shelf next to my closet. I was about to throw the empty box into the cardboard graveyard when I spotted something grey inside the box. The stuffed bear had seen better days, but the little guy survived throughout the years; even through the flood in the girl's dorm in college.

I was still reminiscing when I heard Tomoyo's warm, silky voice coming from the living room. Sara Bareille' _Love Song_ blasted from the speakers as she sang from the top of her lungs. I didn't need to look out my room to know she was dancing all around the apartment. Her steps disappeared into the kitchen, the sweet smell of chocolate cake soon followed as she took something out of the oven.

Best.

Roommate.

Ever.

I was just about to join her when I felt a dreadful chill slither down my spine, every molecule in my body sprang awake as I felt my powers surge throughout my body. Only one thing in this world could affect me in this way.

Magic.

There was something different about this magic, it felt murky and heavy. Regularly the essence of magic is radiant and light. My bedroom door slammed shut and the power went out. The boxes shifted so that they were blocking all light coming from the window. Before I even had time to react, a dark aura enveloped my body, making my movements sluggish and heavy. I made out a female silhouette in the darkness of my closet, a pair of crimson eyes stared back at me.

_Who are you?_

I tried to say, but it was as if the aura was smothering me from within. Desperately I fought with the incorporeal darkness for my next breath but it was in vain, the hold was too strong. The silhouette laughed, cold and humorless, almost as if _mocking _me. I studied her crimson eyes, searching for some kind of explanation, searching for a weakness, only to see myself reflected in them. Panicked and vulnerable.

My body started to feel faint from the lack of oxygen and when she spoke another wave of fatigue washed over me, making it difficult to stay standing.

"How pathetic," said the silhouette, her strident voice coming from every direction all at once "the great Card Mistress is nothing but a _weakling_. A disgrace to all magicians!"

I felt her cold fingers grasp my chin none too gently as she pulled me closer so that her mouth was next to my ear. Her icy breath brushed my cheek, I could almost feel her smug smile in her voice as she said:

"It is not even worth my time wasting my time with the likes of you. Now that you've seen the vast differences in our powers just stay out of my way and maybe I'll let you live."

She made her way back to the closet. Her appearance still just a faceless silhouette with crimson eyes. I met her steel gaze one last time, only to feel her prodding inside my brain, leaving a message behind. Realization struck me just as my body ached for oxygen, exhausting whatever grip I had left on consciousness.

My knees buckled.

My heart sank.

Darkness swallowed my world before my head touched the floor. Her final message-warning-haunting my sleep.

…

…

…

_Let's see how the cherry blossom will bloom without the help of the Sun and the Moon._

Author's Note:

Re-uploaded. I went back and made the prologue a little longer in order to make it less rushed. This is the first fanfiction I've ever written…and the first time I let other people read my 'work'. If anyone does read this I would really love some feedback. Ooooh and I forgot….

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, CLAMP does. Most characters mentioned in this story belong to them as well….I just wrote the story.


	2. Chapter 1: Must Be Broken to Be Reborn

Chapter 1

When I finally woke up I immediately wished I hadn't. Pain exploded on the back of my head and the room seemed to spin. I didn't need to touch my head to know that a bump the size of Mt. Fuji would be bulging out the side of my temple. I struggled to sit up on the bed, the naked mattress doing nothing to protect me from the evening chill. I wondered how Tomoyo managed to get me onto the bed considering the girl struggles to lift a bowling ball, let alone a full grown woman.

Holding onto the headboard for dear life, I swung my feet around and pulled myself out of bed. A wave of pain washed over my body as my new bump-whose name may or may not be Consuela-refused to let me move. The throbbing in my head practically saying "get back in bed" in Morse Code with every step I took. Ignoring Consuela's cries I half-walked-half-dragged myself out the room. I was nearly at the door when it suddenly swung open, knocking me even more off-balance. Tripping on my own feet I managed to fall in the most unladylike manner known to society: arms flailing everywhere while screaming hysterically.

The fall couldn't have been more than four feet, probably would have happened in all of three seconds. But the fall felt eternal, almost as if in slow motion. No. Exactly like in slow motion.

_Time._

Realization hit me as I felt the familiar magical aura envelop my body. Strong arms wrapped around my body, lifting me into a princess like hold. Time returned to normal and I found myself in the arms of the reincarnation of the Clow Reed. Eriol gave me one of his close-lip smiles as he placed me back on the bed. I must've been hallucinating because last time I spoke with Eriol Hiiragizawa he was in London.

"You shouldn't be walking around Sakura, especially not with that second head sprouting out of your temple."

His voice was light and comforting as he reached for Consuela. Subconsciously, I flinched, waiting for the pain that was soon to follow. Pain struck me once he touched the tender skin and I saw Tomoyo's alarmed face from the corner of my eye. The ever-present throbbing of Consuela dulled as I felt a warm sensation spread throughout my head. When did Eriol learn healing magic?

"Healing is just one of my many talents Sakura." He said, a mischievous smile playing at his lips.

Did I say that out loud? His grey eyes shone with mirth turning them into rich quicksilver. Its been five years since I saw Eriol last, and he still hold that same look in his eyes, the look of someone who could always tell what you were thinking because he was an all-powerful magician. Typical.

I traced the outline of my mattress, busying myself while Tomoyo gave Eriol the gooey eyes, and he returned them. They so had the hots for each other. But I doubt Eriol flew thousands of miles to just ogle my roommate and best friend, so why was he doing in Tokyo? He never mentioned coming to visit; and if Eriol is good at something, it is showing up out of the blue to help. Even when you don't realize you are in trouble he always seems to be there, it's one of the many perks of being able to look into the future. But for Eriol to be here _now_ means that he would have to have known I was in trouble. Slowly I put two and two together in my head and realization hit me like a slap to the face. I remember the helplessness of being suffocated by darkness and was overwhelmed by all the emotions rushing to me all at once. Fear. Anger. Betrayal.

"You knew." I finally spoke up, disrupting their conversation. It wasn't a question. He knew that. All humor vanished from his eyes in an instant, quickly replaced by an emotionless mask that made him look older than twenty-three.

"Know what?" He looked legitimately confused, innocent even. But something in his eyes betrayed him, his expression looked too forced, like he was fighting to keep something hidden.

With that one look, all doubt left my mind.

"Eriol, don't openly mock my intelligence when I'm standing right in front of you. Wipe that innocent look off your face and for once don't treat me like a child. Tell me what's going on." With my head ache gone I was easily on my feet, standing merely inches away from the man in question.

Tomoyo, who was standing next to the bed, seemed confused as she looked back and forth between Eriol and I, desperately trying to figure out what was going on. She pulled me gently by the elbow, guiding me back to the bed.

"Sakura, what's gotten into you? Eriol just got here and you just woke up. You've had a tough day, you should rest. Maybe we should leave this for another time."

"No Tomoyo, this can't wait," I said pulling my arm away from her grasp a little too harshly. Ignoring the hurt in her eyes I turned back to Eriol, his eyes wide in astonishment "You knew about the sorceress. You knew she would come to me, and that's why you're here." He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off "You conveniently showed up at my doorstep just shortly after she left. That's not suspicious at all! Especially with you broadcasting your aura all around my apartment instead of concealing it like usual. I might be out of practice Eriol but I know what you've been doing. You're searching for a magical trail. You're tracking her down."

"Eriol, what is she talking about?"

Eriol looked at Tomoyo, his eyes full of emotion, before he turned to me with the same expression "Sakura, I really didn't want to get you involved but it was the only way. I've been tracking her for over a year and this was the first time she made her presence known. I'm sorry."

"I was _bait!_" I paced the length of my room, letting my anger simmer down before I faced him again. My voice sounded foreign to my own ears. Low and raw with emotion "You could have warned me, Eriol. I would have helped you but instead you kept me in the dark. You're right, you didn't get me involved. You _used _me, then walked in here thinking you could look like a hero while you kept being selfish."

"You have no idea what you are talking about," he said in a menacing low voice, I had never heard him talk like that. I managed to keep my expression calm as I matched his cold tone.

"Where is she?"

Eriol met my stare but remained quiet. He looked physically uncomfortable with the whole conversation. His back was too straight. His nonchalant façade long gone.

"Why do you want to know? So you can go after her? She's too powerful Sakura. This is bigger than you. You couldn't possibly defeat her as you are now."

His sudden defensive tone threw me off, but not as much as his last comment. He might as well have slapped me across the face.

"Why because I'm not as powerful as you are? Because I'm not the reincarnation of Clow? Tell m-"

"Because she uses Nox magic!"

His voice was almost hysterical as he grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking me like a ragged doll, urging me to understand the meaning of what he just said. I tore myself away from his grasp, my body _shivering_, as if both fearing and rejecting the existence of such a forbidding thing.

"That's impossible. Clow himself got rid of all the _Iltas_ when he was alive." I said, trying to convince myself rather than Eriol the unreasonableness of the whole thing.

"Nox magic? Iltas?" Tomoyo asked almost to herself.

Memories of reading the grimoire Eriol gave me when I was thirteen rushed to me all at once, the legend of the Iltas ever engraved in my memories. Goosebumps danced throughout my body as I retold the legend I was hoping would never resurface.

"The Iltas were magicians that sought to cast eternal darkness upon earth. They manipulated the essence of the magic differently from what the universe intended. They leeched the life out of all living things, causing eternal darkness to consume them. Nox magic is the destruction of the magical essence that allows us to live. It seeks the power of both light and darkness. The Sun and the M-"

_No. No. No. _This can't be. Her last words…she couldn't…

_Let's see how the cherry blossom will bloom without the help of the Sun and the Moon._

_Kero._

_Yue._

Panic surged in my veins. I didn't realize what I was doing until I felt my magic spark to life and I was holding my old star staff in my hand. I wasted no time as I sprinted to the window calling forth _Dash_ and _Jump._ I had no idea where I was going or who to look for, but I couldn't sit still. Not when two very important people might be in trouble.

Air rushed past my ears as I jumped down onto someone's balcony nearly ten floors below. I was just about to jump off again when I felt something wrap around me, pinning me down against something rough and earthy. I look to see wooden chains clasped around my wrists and legs. _The Wood._

Eriol materialized in front of me immediately, holding my pink staff in his hands. I was vulnerable and powerless, and I couldn't help but me angry at myself. For being weak. For not being able to protect the ones I love. For turning my back on magic. Something broke inside of me. _Wood_, one of the most amiable cards that I own, turned itself against me…the so called Card Mistress.

Eriol dispelled the wooden chains around me, cradling me against his chest as I cried like I never had before. Pouring all the fear and frustration that have been bottled up inside of me since the Ilta appeared in my room. In between the tears I repeated Kero's and Yue's names, sometimes even Eriol's, almost pleading him to understand what I couldn't say out loud. That I can't save them, that I'm not powerful enough. Just like he said.

He held me close like only a true friend would. Even after I treated him so harshly and took my anger and fear out on him, he lets me cry in his arms and holds my broken pieces together. If he can stick with me through my mini-emotional breakdown, then I could at least give him the benefit of the doubt about the whole Ilta situation. If she is after the Sun and the Moon then not only would she be after Kero and Yue, but after their counterparts Ruby Moon and Spinel as well. I called him selfish. Eriol's words echoed in my head:

_You have no idea what you are talking about…This is bigger than you_.

I never felt so stupid, so selfish as I did in that moment. My reckless flight just another demonstration of how weak I actually am.

I let myself cry every last tear I had into Eriol's chest that night. But after that, as the full moon as my witness, I vowed to never again turn my back on magic and to achieve metamorphosis, to become someone worthy of the gift bestowed upon me by the universe, and be worthy to protect those I hold dear.

Author's Note:

I'm sorry for the bipolar nature of this chapter but I really needed to emphasize the shift in Sakura's character. I know she appears OC and that is partly because 1. Sakura is 22, I can't have her being super happy go lucky especially after she was having the worst day of her life and…. 2. I'm still developing her character since I didn't pre-plan this story. I literally sat down and started writing what first came to mind and took over from there.

Thank you to the people actually reading my story, and to those who reviewed. I tried fixing some of the things you mentioned, hopefully I didn't make it worse. I am open to criticism.

*Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, CLAMP does…because they are awesome.


	3. Chapter 2: Eris, the Dark Mistress

Chapter 2

When I was sixteen I was prescribed antidepressants to relive stress on my nervous system before bed in order to avoid night terrors. What I couldn't tell the doctor that these 'night terrors' were visions, I just wanted them to stop. I remember how every year my psychic powers got more and more powerful, at sixteen I started predicting people's deaths. I grew scared, frightened that one night I would see a familiar face die before my eyes. The more I panicked, the worse it got. I didn't sleep and my grades plummeted. I couldn't take the pressure, so I turned to science and gave my back to magic.

After that, magic started moving down on my list of priorities. I felt the anxiety within the cards, their begging to be released, but I just shoved them further into my closet. At the time I thought I was solving the problem. Now I know I was running away.

That night I flushed my meds down the toilet, watching as they swirled out of sight. There was no going back. If I wanted to defeat the Ilta I would have to become stronger, much stronger. I have to know about her attacks before she even knows herself. For that I need sleep, non-medical induced sleep. I need to _dream_.

-X-

The crisp air reminded me of winter, which was odd considering it was still summer in Tokyo. People rushed around me, in the hurried walking pace that all big city people have. I stood there in the middle of the street, eavesdropping on people's conversations only to get lost in the heavy accents and the foreign language. Loud chimes were audible through the crowd's deafening murmur. I stared in awe at the Big Ben, counting the bells as they announced it was midday.

I saw a woman with a stroller make her way through the throng of people coming my way, the stroller got closer and it didn't seem to slow down. It was just three feet away and I was barricaded between a couple businessmen, completely stuck in place. I braced myself for the impact, but it never came. The stroller simply passed right through me like if I was some kind of ghost.

I looked down at my incorporeal form, my skin pale and translucent, the baby completely oblivious that I was standing on… _in_ his juice. Stepping out of the stroller I made my way around the city, a simple task when you can just walk straight through people instead of weaving through them.

An older gentleman sat on a bench just outside St. James Park reading the newspaper, the date dating back to January of last year. Somehow my consciousness managed to travel back in time, but why here? I took in my surroundings and soaked in every aura around me, the tiniest flicker of Eriol's aura was coming from somewhere near the Big Ben. I felt the murky aura of the Ilta burst out of the tower, her dark silhouette crossed over the clock's face, quickly engulfing the tower in darkness. The wind stopped blowing and the city cooled even more.

Everyone seemed oblivious to the change in the atmosphere as they continued to rush in and out of the city. I took off running toward the clock tower, feeling the opposing powers clash like a tidal wave of power. Two figures flied overhead as if circling the enemy, their wings shimmered with specs of gold and silver.

Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun.

Still running toward the commotion I was finally at earshot of their conversation. The fight seemed to be at a standstill as Eriol faced the Ilta. She stood in the shade of the tower, and even in the darkness I finally got a good look at her, she had waist long ebony hair and almost too pale white skin that harshly contrasted against the black ink of her tattoos that ran up and down her arms. She looked like a Goth princess instead of a magician.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Eriol demanded, his stance confident and proud.

"Aren't you an eager reincarnation of Clow, Eriol Hiiragizawa," she smiled sardonically at Eriol "Not that it matters if I tell you now or later, since everyone will know the name Eris-the Dark Mistress-soon. It's just a matter of time."

"The Dark Mistress? Surely you're just another hedge witch who wants some attention." Eriol mocked, a smug smile tugged at his lips. Anger flared in her crimson eyes, her aura getting darker and darker "Looks to me like you just dressed up for Halloween on the wrong day. I give you props for not giving into the cliché of wearing a pointy witch's hat."

Did he have a death wish?

Anyone with the slightest sensibility to the magical essence could tell that Eris was no hedge witch; her aura was too powerful, too dark. Whatever it was that he was trying to do seemed to work as the Dark Mistress summoned a dark orb, aiming it toward Eriol's heart. He deflected the blow and turned to his guardians in the sky.

"Ruby! Spinel! Now!"

On command the guardians dived down on the enemy, enveloping her in a golden rope made out of light. Soon Eris was mummified in the string of light, struggling against the constraint. Eriol was just about to call back Ruby and Spinel when a dark surge of energy emerged from inside the light cocoon, disintegrating it into ashes.

"That was cute Hiiragizawa. Extremle predictable, but cute. Now it's my turn." Her body turned into a puddle of black goo as it split into two. The dark muck made its way toward Spinel's and Ruby's shadow on the ground, paralyzing the guardians in midair. Eriol called out to them, but they didn't respond, their faces blank and emotionless.

"What did you do to them? Set them free, they have nothing to do with this." Eriol's voice was no longer confident, his face still registering the shock of being defeated so easily.

"Oh, but au contraire Mr. Hiiragizawa. They have _everything_ to do with this." Eris materialized in between the two guardians, floating effortlessly as she caressed Spinel's black fur "Such beautiful specimens. The Sun and the Moon. The essence of the moon has to be my favorite," she said gesturing to Ruby Moon.

"This one is quite magnificent, don't you think? Such beauty, such vigor. Just like the moon itself," A hungry look crossed her face as she brought Ruby's face closer, exposing her neck "A little taste test won't hurt…hurt _me_ at least."

Before Eriol could react, Eris sank her teeth in Ruby's neck, slivery blood running down her mouth. The guardian still didn't move, her expression nearly comatose. Eriol charged, transforming his staff into a celestial bronze sword. Materializing himself above her, he brought down his sword, cutting clean through her torso. Eris' body exploded into a cloud black dust, drifting back into the shadow of the clock tower. Spinel's and Ruby's bodies soon followed, leaving Eriol floating in the middle of the field.

_Now that wasn't very nice Mr. Hiiragizawa._

Her voice seemed to come from everywhere all at once.

_As much as I enjoyed our little play session I'm afraid me and my new minions must take our leave._

"What do you want?" Eriol desperately cried to the empty space "What will happen to them?"

_I'm just following the rules of the Iltas. You're a smart man; you can put two and two together._

In an instant her aura was gone and light returned to the Big Ben and the rest of the city. She was gone.

She took them.

Ruby and Spinel were gone.

Eriol's aura spiraled out of control, sorrow consumed him as he released his frustration all at once in one powerful blast.

-X-

I woke up with a start, tears streaming down my face as my heart ached with a pain so raw that left me feeling hollow. I realized I was feeling Eriol's despair and helplessness. Eriol didn't even stand a chance against her, no wonder I couldn't even stand straight with her around. He's been tracking her for over a year and yesterday was the first time she resurfaced. _Why?_ A thousand possibilities crossed my mind, but one terrified me the most: she needed more power, Ruby and Spinel weren't enough.

Before I could even think twice about what I was doing I stalked across the living room to Tomoyo's room. The clock on her nightstand read 3:55 A.M but I couldn't sit still until she woke up.

"Tomoyo, wake up."

She murmured under her breath and turned on her side so that she was facing away from me.

"Moyo, come on wake up!"

She kept mumbling to herself as she pulled the covers over her head, I was getting nowhere with this approach. I walked out her room and headed toward our stainless steel kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets until I found the ingredients I needed. Whipping up a quick batch of pancake batter, I added cinnamon and blueberries to the mix-Tomoyo's weakness.

With the bowl still in my hands I made my way back to her room, the sweet scent of the pancake batter intoxicating her room. I barely spoke above a whisper when I said her four favorite words of all time: "I'm making blueberry pancakes."

Her body sprung up into sitting position, her eyes half asleep but her stomach fully awake. Tomoyo frowned when she looked at the time, her amethyst eyes met mine and I couldn't tell if she wanted to go back to sleep or throw her bedside lamp at my head. Waking up Tomoyo before 7:00 A.M is like releasing the kraken-a sleep deprived, twenty-two year old kraken. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Pancakes? Sakura! Are you out of your freaking mind?! It's four in the morning. Why are you making pancakes? You should be sleeping! _I_ should be sleeping. This is not time for pancakes." She rambled on and on about the proper time to make pancakes. I saw her reach for her pillow, aiming it at my face before a thought crossed her mind "Wait- did you say blueberry pancakes?"

"…Yes?" I said holding the batter closer to her, almost like a sacrifice to appease the kraken.

"Well Sakura, the pancakes aren't going to make themselves my friend!" She said, kicking me out of her room and into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator, taking out the carton of milk before she thought better of it and headed toward good ol' Mr. Coffee. I flipped the pancakes in silence as she poured herself a cup of coffee. Placing the stack in front of her I saw all lethargy vanished from her face once she took her first bite. Blueberry pancakes. Works every time.

"Now, why did you wake me up at this ungodly hour?" she asked between bites.

"We're going to Tomoeda. We have to go get Kero and Yue before Eris can get to them." Dread slithered down my spine, the thought unbearable to say out loud "If she hasn't gotten to them already."

Tomoyo reached over the counter and gave my hands a soft squeeze. Her reassuring smile warmed me up from the inside out; her violet eyes didn't hold a single ounce of doubt as she said: "We'll save them Sakura. We'll leave at dawn."

"I'll go call Er-"

"Already on it." She held her phone in between her neck and her ear as she kept eating her pancakes, devouring the stack in less than two minutes "Get something to eat and go take a shower, we'll leave for Tomoeda in an hour." No greeting, just business. Maybe the kraken still lurked.

I ate my plate of pancakes in silence as I heard the one sided conversation between Tomoyo and Eriol. My interest sparked when Tomoyo stood up and walked back to her room, shutting the door behind her. Weird.

Not sure what to do with myself, I washed the plates and cleaned the already prestine kitchen. Taking one last look at my roommate's door, I disappeared into my room.

-X-

Traffic made it impossible to get to Tomoeda in less than two hours. It would have taken us forty minutes in train but Eriol and Tomoyo insisted on driving there. The two hours from Eriol's apartment was frustrating. Those two kept sharing secretive glances throughout the trip. It wouldn't have bothered me if they had been romantic glances-those I was used to- but they were sharing some kind of secret, something related to me.

Tomoyo asked what time it was.

Eriol wondered if his package would be delivered while we were on our way to Tomoeda.

They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Dorks.

We arrived at my dad's house and his car wasn't in the driveway. Walking into my old home I felt a wave of nostalgia, remembering how I used to cook dinner in the kitchen while Kero eat sweets on the counter. There was a letter on my slippers from my dad, dated two days ago.

_Last minute opening in the China excavation, sorry I didn't call. I'll be back in two weeks. Kero is staying with Yukito._

_-Love_

_Fujitaka_

Something about my father's letter troubled me, but I didn't have time to worry about that. He was safe in China, far away from all the crazy going on with this Dark Mistress.

We drove to Yukito's house in silence, each of us caught in the nostalgia as we passed Penguin Park and Tomoeda Elementary. When we arrived at the Tsukishiro residence no one answered the door. We were about to go check at Touya's house when we heard the soft _thud_ of an arrow hitting a target.

Taking off my shoes at the entrance I made my way through the older house, I could almost hear the arrow's whisper as it sliced through the air the closer we got to the shooting range. Yukito stood about thirty yards away from the target, his expression serene as he released another arrow, effortlessly hitting bullseye.

Without saying a word Yukito threw something small in my direction, I caught it with one hand, feeling the plastic wrapper of the candy against my palm. I popped the strawberry candy in my mouth, fighting the goofy grin that was creeping up on the corners of my mouth. I gave Yukito a bear hug when he was in tackling distance, relief washed over me as I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.

He was still here. Kero couldn't be too far behind.

I gave him another hug before I let him greet the others. After we exchanged all the formalities I got right down to business.

"Yukito, I would love to catch up with you later," I smiled apologetically at him, hoping he would understand "But right now it is extremely important that I talk to Yue."

Without another word Yukito was enveloped in a cocoon of white wings, completing his transformation into his true form. Yue's face was stoic as usual, but even he couldn't keep a straight face as I gave him my signature bear hug. His muscles tensed at the contact but quickly relaxed and hugged me back.

We all sat around the living room as Eriol and I explained the situation with the Dark Mistress, emphasizing the danger he and Kero were in. I told everyone about my dream, how I saw Eris take away Spinel and Ruby. Eriol's body went rigid next to Tomoyo, guild pouring off him in a wave of sorrow. Tomoyo comforted him, whispering sweet words of encouragement, holding his hand in reassurance. A gesture that did not go unnoticed by me of course.

Yue told us about how the essence of magic was weakening. For a year now the essence seemed to be dying slowly as the days were getting shorter and the nights were getting longer.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I said, knowing that I wasn't going to like the answer.

Yue sent me this look that said: _There was nothing that you could have done._ The truth felt like a punch to the gut, but he was right. I swallowed my pride and apologized to him, apologized for not only turning my back on the magic that keeps him alive, but for keeping my distance from him as well.

"You'll always be our master, even when you don't want to be the master of the cards. Cerberus and I will always protect you." He said, the sincerity of his voice stirring something in my chest.

My throat felt tight with emotion, tears rimmed my eyes as I felt the crashing guilt hit me square across the chest. I vowed to myself to protect them this time around, to become stronger for _them._ But where was that little glutton anyway?

"Where is Kero anyway? I thought he was here with you?" Tomoyo said-still holding Eriol's hand.

"He said something about getting rid of a wolf that was prying around too close to the cherry blossoms."

Before I could ask him what that meant he turned back into a sleeping Yukito. Damn him. Eriol and Tomoyo were sharing their secretive glances again and I felt like throwing something at their faces. Damn them.

I was just about to help Yukito back to bed when I felt Kero's power surge. Panic flooded though me as the worst case scenario crossed my mind. I saw Kero paralyzed, getting drained by the Dark Mistress.

I left Yukito's house in a rush, barely even stopping to put on my shoes. I ran toward Penguin Park, where Kero's energy seemed to be the strongest. I felt a different magical aura challenge Kero's, a very powerful aura that I couldn't quite place.

When I arrived at the park Kero was twenty feet in the air, shooting fire balls at a moving target, screaming like a lunatic: "Take that you Chinese brat!" I froze, every muscle in my body tensed with excitement; there was only one person who Kero would ever say that to. I zeroed in on the said brat, and my heart stopped.

He was taller, much taller. His hair was shorter, but still as unruly as when we were kids, and even though his back was to me, I would bet my college tuition that his eyes were still the same breathtaking shade of amber. I think I was drooling, which is ridiculous because I have seen _plenty_ of handsome guys. But it is not every day you see your childhood love, especially one that moved to Hong Kong over ten years ago.

Kero finally noticed me standing in the middle of the park, probably drooling on myself, and dived down yelling "SAKURA!" He tackled me to the ground, standing over me in his true form. I didn't complain about his massive weight crushing my ribs as I hugged the giant fur ball in my arms, overjoyed to see he was safe as well. When I turned a nice shade of blue from lack of oxygen, Kero finally got off and returned to his stuffed animal form. I stood there out of breath-silently wishing that I had taken that gym initiative more seriously-with a full blast goofy grin on my face; I had missed the little guy.

"Sakura?" I had almost forgotten about the other aura until I heard his husky voice say my name. Now I was out of breath for a whole different reason.

He was here.

I couldn't believe it.

"Syaoran."

Author's Note:

Hello there! Here is an extra long chapter! I know a lot happened in this chapter, and I was planning to end it around the time Sakura woke up or around the time that she was getting ready to leave….BUT you guys were so eager to see Syaoran make an entrance that I just had to extend this chapter 1,000 words. Sadly I can't promise that all chapters will be this long AP Testing is coming up…and college finals…there is so much little ol' me can take.

I was thinking about changing the rating on the fic. I've noticed that I tend to get a little dark, and I'm holding back a little to not creep out my readers. Also I must admit I'm a total perv when it comes to my favorite couples, but if you guys are not into that I'll keep it strictly PG-13ish.

Please review and let me know what you think of the story so far. I love feedback.

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, I am just a high school student who procrastinates on her AP homework by writing fanfiction.


	4. Chapter 2,5: Into the Mind of Sakura

Into the Mind of Sakura:

As much as I prayed to every deity known to man to make me short and slim so that I could look like my mother, the universe just laughed in my face and made me tall and athletic like my dad. Tomoyo is the one who grew up to be the spitting image of my mom, just as kind as well. Maybe that's why I've always had a hard time saying no to her; she even managed to convince me to grow my hair past my shoulders sometime around freshman year in college, she claimed that it was so that she could 'have a wider canvas to work with' or whatever that meant. She wanted to use me as her human mannequin throughout design school, and I didn't mind as long as she stuck around all my crazy.

Poor Tomoyo had to endure my magic spurs when I was stressed, and my sleep deprived mood swings when my medication wasn't working and the visions returned. She was the only person who kept me sane during those times, but even she couldn't save the naïve, happy go lucky Sakura. That girl is gone, and I don't know if that is for the better or for the worse.


	5. Chapter 3: Overwhelmed

Chapter 3

I would have given up my left thumb to know what was going through Syaoran's mind in that instant. I had also changed, not in the I-was-dipped-in-the-nectar-of-the-gods way that he did, but hey…at least my baby fat was long gone. For the tenth time since our eyes met, I wondered once again what was going through his mind when he saw me. Kero had left to ask Tomoyo for sweets from the bakery near the university, leaving Syoran and I alone in Penguin Park.

I looked at his handsome face and defined physique, shamelessly aware that I was checking him out. I just couldn't look away. He was the perfect example of puberty done right. Looking into his amber orbs, I was torn between giving him a bear hug and slapping him across the face for never answering any of my letters and/or emails. A warm shiver ran down my spine when I notice that he too was studying me in the same manner, making my internal struggle even worse. We must have looked like idiots, standing in a children's playground practically ogling each other without saying a word. I seriously needed to work on my mind reading skills. The silence was quickly heading into Awkwardville when I finally grew the lady-balls to speak up.

"Why are you here?"

Nice Sakura, what a great way to make a great first impression after ten years. Hostility _was _the way to go. Nailed it.

Syaoran seemed puzzled by my less-than-warm welcome, he probably didn't expect that from the sweet little Sakura from grade school.

"It's nice to see you too, Sakura." His sarcastic tone didn't go unnoticed; suddenly my internal struggle between hugging and slapping didn't seem like such a hard decision. Anxiety rose in the pit of my stomach, it felt like a rubber band, expanding beyond reach. I felt angry all of a sudden, frustrated at everything and nothing at the same time.

"Please Li, it's always nice to see me," I said, a wicked smirk playing on my lips "But it is indeed an honor to see _you,_ the great leader of the Li clan. I don't know what I did to deserve to be in the presence of the great Li Xiao Lang himself, and after only ten years of waiting. And in Japan too! I'm sorry if my attitude has been anything less than welcoming."

The corners of his mouth twitched, I couldn't quite tell if it was in amusement or in irritation. I briefly considered apologizing for being so childish, but he just had to open his mouth and ruin it.

"Eriol hadn't mentioned that your magic wasn't the _only_ thing that was underdeveloped." He said gesturing to my chest "And your attitude could use some work as well."

Did he…He did not just call my breasts small. What. A. Douche.

Is this the same Syaoran that made me a teddy bear when we were kids? The same one that I was in love with for the most part of my adolescence?

I was just about to tell him exactly where he could stick his snarky comments when Tomoyo and Eriol finally decided to join us, Yue and Kero in toll. They weren't surprised to see him at all, in fact they were practically expecting him to be here. That's why they had been so secretive in the morning; Eriol had called him, and didn't tell me so that it could be a surprise. Lucky me.

I shot Syaoran a death glare I normally reserved for Touya, promising pain and suffering in the near future. No one messed with Linda and Clarisse. A girl's boobs are sacred.

"I see you started the welcoming party a little early, Sakura" Eriol's sarcasm earned him the same death glare, I enjoyed watching him wither away a little too much as he cleared his throat in discomfort.

"What is he doing here Eriol? His aura will just call more attention to Yue and Kero. What were you thinking?"

I waited for Eriol to explain himself, however Syaoran answered instead, much to my displeasure "He thought that you could use all the help you could get. She already knows where you are, she's toying with you, toying with _us_. Why else would she go after you first instead of just capturing Yue and Cerberus? We don't have time to waste in petty arguments. I'm here to help. This is bigger than you Sakura."

There it was again. That phrase.

_This is bigger than you._

What was that, the phrase of the week? The rubber band inside me snapped, loosening whatever grip I had left of self-control.

"You think I don't know that? Do you think I'm just some kind of child who's unaware of the situation?" I turned to the Chinese brat, frustration building up in my core "I know that this is _bigger than me_, but for once I wished that I felt like I'm a part of the situation. How do you think I feel when you and Eriol don't even tell me directly what's going on? Do you understand how helpless that makes me feel? Do you understand how powerless I feel?"

Everyone stared at me in silence, my words hung in the air like stuffy fog. The words that everyone was thinking but didn't have the guts to sat out loud. My frustration grew, fostering in the pit of my stomach, burning me from within. The need to move suddenly overcame me, too much energy was building within me. Adrenaline kicked in for no reason as I felt my blood rush through my veins all too fast, anxiety bubbled up within me as I suddenly felt the urge to get release.

It was too much.

Too overwhelming.

My magic spiraled out of control inside me, it was everywhere all at once, riding the adrenaline through my body, begging to be let out. Everything hurt. I felt hot and cold all at once. My knees gave out from underneath me as I felt my body fold into itself. Somewhere far away I could hear Tomoyo's voice.

"Eriol, what's happening to her? Help her!"

"Her body is reacting to the essence, its overwhelming her senses. Too much power is building inside of her, her body doesn't know what to do with all of it. But there is no reason for her body to react like this, she was fine yesterday. What changed?"

"Her antidepressants," Tomoyo gasped "They are supposed to subdue her magic to keep her from having visions. She must have stopped taking them last night when she had that dream of the Dark Mistress. Something similar happened in college."

"Which means that her body is compensating for all the magic she's kept bottled up since she started taking them. Eriol you have to get Tomoyo as far away as possible from here, Sakura's aura is contracting within itself." Syaoran turned to Eriol, his voice even more urgent than before "You have to go now. Take Yue and Cerberus with you and shield yourselves. I'll try to contain the blast. There's no time. _Go._"

"We can't possibl-"

"Go! Now before she-"

In an instant I felt everything stop, the last thread that held me together gave away as every last ounce of frustration and adrenaline tore me open from the inside, breaking its way out of my control. Everything went white as my magic imploded into itself. The last thing I felt was two strong arms holding me close.

-X-

The pounding in my head reminded me of Consuela, but while Consuela was usually accompanied by nausea and searing pain, the throbbing I felt now was idle and draining. I felt something soft against my check, the smell of soap and earth mixed into the fabric, reminding me of my bed back in my dad's house. The familiar scent grounding me back to reality.

I tried to open my eyes but they seemed to be glued shut with super glue. Every muscle in my body screamed in pain, ignoring every command I gave it to move. I hadn't been this tired since I ran the Ironman Challenge my senior year in high school, and even then I could still at least move my arms. I was just about to call out to somebody when I heard a door open, footsteps echoed the wooden floors as three distinct auras gathered around me.

"When is she going to wake up? She's been out for three days. Are you sure the blast didn't leave any internal damage?"

"Tomoyo, Sakura expelled an astronomical amount of magic, if Syaoran hadn't been there Tomoeda would have been disintegrated in an instant," Eriol's tone was anxious and calculating "Even if Syaoran was able to contain most of the blast, Sakura shouldn't have even survived the physical and mental exertion of releasing so much magic. The only reason she's still alive is because of her raw magical potential and pure luck."

"She needs to learn how to control it. Her spiritual level was out of control, the destruction of that attack almost resembled No-" Syaoran stopped himself, I could only hear his footsteps echo against the hardwood floor as he paced the length of the room "This could have been avoided. If she had just kept up with her magical studies the Dark Mistress wouldn't even exist."

"Careful with the next words that come out of your mouth Li, the last thing Sakura needs right now is for you to make her feel worse than she already does." Tomoyo's voice had never sounded so menacing "Sometimes you people seem to forget that Sakura is only human. I wasn't here when her powers spiked, but from what Touya says Sakura spent days-sometimes a week-without sleeping. She was scared of her own powers, scared of how much of an impact she had on people's lives."

"Tomoyo, I didn't mean- I didn't know-"

"No one did Li, she kept it all to herself. I don't know when exactly, but sometime during the time that I went to study abroad, the Sakura that we knew changed. It's all my fault."

Eriol's aura was suddenly right next to Tomoyo's "There was nothing you could have done. You can't possibly blame yourself."

"Can't I? I wasn't there when she needed me the most."

I wanted to tell her that she was wrong. I would have said anything to take away the pain that she was feeling, even if it was for me. She shouldn't blame herself, not after she single handedly put my broken pieces back together in college. But my body still wouldn't respond, instead it just wanted to shut down once again. I was really getting tired of this whole constantly losing conscious bullcrap.

There was a long pause, until Syaoran finally spoke up:

"None of us were."

-X-

When I finally came too I was able to actually open my eyes. A warm tingle danced throughout my body as I felt healing magic course through my veins. The soft glow of the healing magic was enough to light up Syaoran's face. It wasn't until I noticed the small bruises on his cheek that I noticed how badly he was hurt. His left arm was bandaged from his shoulder all the way down to his wrist.

It was my fault.

It had to be.

"How long are you going to stare at me Kinomoto? See something you like?"

Any other person would have probably done the decent thing and apologized, but there was something about Syaoran Li that immediately switched my sarcasm switch on.

"Don't flatter yourself Li, I was just wondering if the Walking Dead needed any more extras, you seem to be ready for the part."

Translation: I'm glad I didn't kill you in the blast. You should get some rest.

"Haha, very funny. I wouldn't be talking if I were you, Sakura. After all, they did say that purple was the new black." I looked down at the bandages and the bruises adorning my body, not feeling the agonizing pain that these wounds called for. Amber met emerald as I saw how truly tired he felt in his eyes, healing magic was no walk in the park. All humor vanished as I took his bandaged hand in mine.

"Thank you."

"It's only healing magic, Sakura. There's no need to thank me."

"I do need to thank you. You were the one who saved me, you contained the blast." I traced the outline of his bandages with my finger, feeling traces of _my_ magic on his skin "After I was a total jerk to you, you still risked your life to save me. You shouldn't be here Syaoran. You should be in China with your clan, away from all the disaster."

With his free hand, he tucked back a strand of auburn hair behind my ear, never breaking eye contact as he said "How could I not come? How can I sit still in China knowing that a Nox witch, a freaking Ilta, was threatening everyone? Threatening you."

I thought back to all the unanswered letters, all the emails that were left un-replied. My skin still felt warm against his fleeting touch, hyperaware that his hand was still in mine. Memories of all the times we fought alongside each other rushed to me all at once. I had never felt safer than when I knew that Syaoran had my back, never had I felt more confident in winning than when he was standing by my side. Eriol knew that. He knows everything. That's why he called Syaoran here, not to protect me from Eris, but to help me grow.

"He brought you here to train me."

"I came here to awaken you" He freed his hand from my hold, placing his bandaged hand on my shoulder "Get some sleep Sakura, we're heading back to Tokyo in the morning. We have a long day tomorrow."

"Do we start training tomorrow?"

"Not quite," he said as he headed toward the door "Unless Dr. Richards changed his curriculum from European History to the study of the Grimoire, we'll have to hold off on the training."

"Wait! How do you know who my professor is?"

I could hear the smile in his voice as he wished me goodnight before he disappeared out of my room. He was up to something.

Staring up at the ceiling I replayed the last few days over and over in my head. Dread washed over me as I thought about going to class tomorrow. I didn't have time to write papers and sit around in lectures while Eris is somewhere out in the world, draining the world of its power. Am I just supposed to pretend like nothing is going on?

When did my life become such a mess?

Author's Note:

I'm sorry for the late post, I'm currently dealing with college finals and a case of author's block. I'm hoping to power through it and make the next chapter much better.

I was really sad that no one reviewed on the last chapter, if I don't get feedback I don't know what I'm doing wrong…or right. Your reviews always make feel like writing….so maybe you guys are the answer to my writer's block. Although I somewhat have an idea of where the story is heading I would love to hear what you guys think.

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, I'm just a high schooler procrastinating on her homework by writing fan fiction.


	6. Chapter 4: Undetected

Chapter 4

When I walked into my Mythologies and Witchcraft Studies in European History class I wasn't expecting to find both Syaoran and Eriol sitting in the back of the class eating chocolate chip muffins. They looked like they didn't have a care in the world, completely oblivious to the longing glances from the students around them. Whether it was for them or for their muffins, I wasn't exactly sure. Making my way to the back of the room I put special emphasis on slamming my bag right between them.

"What are you two doing here? Get out of my class."

Syaoran smirked into his muffin "_Our _class Sakura, you can't blame Eriol and I for trying to get a decent education."

Eriol gave me an innocent look as he offered me a muffin. Pfft. Buying me with food. Works every time.

"I'm not buying it," I said snatching the muffin out of Eriol's hand "You both have MBAs and who knows what else, you boys are up to something. Too bad this muffin is too damn good for me to care."

I ignored the glance that passed between the two men in question and settled down between the two as Dr. Richards' blonde teaching assistant started writing on the board, her sparkling blue eyes were full of energy as she prepped the class just as Dr. Richards walking in. Fifteen minutes into class the task of ignoring the boys all together proved harder than I thought; their immense magical auras called out to me, sending a shiver through my body as my magic stirred. What was Richards talking about again? Pagans?

Just as I was writing down notes on the origin of Greek mythology my pen jumped out of my hand and started writing all on its own.

_Who uses notebooks anymore?_

The pen dropped flat on the desk, just as I was about to pick it up again I noticed a blue aura surround the pen.

_Leave her alone Syaoran, not everyone is comfortable around technology._

I looked around the classroom, making sure that no one was looking this way, explaining a floating pen could be challenging. Kicking the two dobes in the shin, I regained control of my supplies. That was until Syaoran's green aura surrounded the pen one more time.

_Lesson Number One: Focus_

I shot Syaoran a death glare before writing down my response:

_I'm trying to __**focus**__ on my class you idiot! Leave me alone!_

From the corner of my eye I saw Syaoran shake his head in disapproval. When my pen didn't move again, it was clear that I had made my point. I concentrated on Richards lecture, hanging onto every word he said as I wrote it down. I was just about to write the research assignment down when I felt Syaoran's warm breath on my cheek, his lips tickling my ear with every word he spoke. "Manipulating objects takes focus, writing requires for you to concentrate not only on the object but on what you want to say. Try writing the notes this way. That's lesson one."

I scoffed "You want me to write my notes without my hands? What if someone turn around and sees a floating pen on my desk?"

"Who cares?" I stared into his amber eyes, noting that he was completely serious, not ashamed at all of getting caught using magic.

I reached for my pen again, the moment my fingers made contact with the metal surface a shock ran down my arm, making me drop my pen onto Eriol's side of the desk. That bastard. He electrified my pen.

Taking a deep breath, I concentrated on moving the pen from Eriol's desk. I cursed the pen in my head-using many four letter words that would have earned me countless push-ups in P.E-as I stared at the still inanimate object. Eriol and Syaoran coughed to cover up their laughter, those dobes could definitely read my mind. Can't a girl have the privacy of her own thoughts? I emphasized those words in my mind and watched as their laughter stopped and they stiffened in their chair. Busted.

Anger rose from the pit of my stomach, when I looked at the pen again it jumped from Eriol's desk and stabbed the wooden desk, splintering the first layer as it wrote down my message.

_Get out of my head_

I stormed out of class, ignoring the curious glances from the professor and the rest of the class as I nearly slammed the door behind me. Not feeling up to being stalked around to the rest of my classes, I skipped the rest of the day. Stopping by the apartment I picked up Kero and told Yue to shadow Eriol until I got back. Tucking Kero inside my purse, I took the first train to Tomoeda.

-X-

Touya's house was just a block away from the station, but the distance seemed endless as I half-walked half-ran to his house. Kero was still sleeping inside my bad when I stepped onto the porch. Before I even had the chance to knock, Touya opened the door with a worried look on his face.

"Sakura, what are you doing here it's the middle of the day? Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

A lump of emotion formed in the back of my throat as I just stared into his warm brown eyes, begging him to understand.

"Come here squirt"

I felt Touya's strong arms around me as he hugged close, his earthy scent was a lot like dad's. I clung to the side of his shirt like a small child as he led me into his home. Kaho was in the kitchen taking out a fresh batch of cookies out of the oven, when she spotted me she immediately embraced me, her pregnant belly acting as a barrier between us. Touya held her close and kissed her forehead, unconsciously feeling her baby bump. There was something about their house that always felt warm and safe, they always made it feel like a _home. _

I suddenly felt very out of place, barging in unannounced into their home was not the best move. Getting them involved is out of the question, Touya can't know what's going on, he'll only get worried. He has more important things to worry about, Kaho was due in just a couple of weeks.

"Sakura, honey, what's wrong?" Worry etched Kaho's gentle features as she came around the counter an placed a small platter of cookies in front of me.

"I was around the neighborhood and started reminiscing, and you guys were close by so I wanted to see how the pregnancy was going." I said plastering a fake smile on my face as I lied shamelessly through my teeth "Dad had asked me to pick something up last week but when I stopped by he had already left for China, so I thought that maybe he had left it here just in case. I guess I was just trying to kill two birds with one stone."

Touya didn't look convinced as he studied me in silence, he always had a sixth sense that told him that something was wrong. Kaho placed a small cup of tea next to the cookies and I felt Kero stir in my purse. There was a yellow flash of movement as Kero lunged for the cookies. He was almost to the cookies when Touya caught him by the wings.

"Easy there Weenie the Pooh, those are for me."

"What did you just call me Slender Man?" Kero's eyes shone with determination "I am the guardian of the cards, I could incinerate you in an instant. Now let me go."

I fought to keep the smile off my face as Touya held Kero in place.

"Down boy," I gave Kaho an apologetic smile "He gets a little grumpy when he wakes up."

Touya and Kero were about to go at it when I grabbed Kero by the ear and started dragging him toward the door "I think it's best if we just leave, I just wanted to stop by and say hello. I guess dad was in too much of a hurry to leave the uhh-package."

"Kaiju you don't have to leave, you just got here."

"Actually, I have to be back in Tokyo in a little while. I'm grabbing lunch with Tomoyo." I said hugging Kaho, who slipped a small Tupperware of cookies in my bag.

"Let me at least walk you out."

Knowing that he wouldn't take no for an answer, I followed behind him until we reached his porch, Kero once again took refuge in my purse as I heard him munch away on the cookies.

I was about to walk away when I felt Touya grab my elbow, turning me so that I was facing him. Although I was pretty tall myself, Touya was closer to seven feet than six, making me feel like I was a little kid all over again every time I stood next to him. "Whatever mess you've gotten into that you're not telling me, promise me you'll be safe. Promise me you won't do anything reckless."

Tears rimmed my eyes and I wondered when I became such a crybaby "I promise." Giving him a kiss on the cheek, I turned to walk away when something occurred to me "Has dad called you by any chance? Do you know when he'll be back?"

"He hasn't called but I'm guessing he'll be back before Michiyo is born."

Smiling at the name of my unborn niece I gave my brother a kiss in the cheek and a small punch in the arm. Translation: Call me if anything happens.

-X-

"I knew I would find you here."

I traced the chain links on the swing, not bothering to turn around to see Syaoran standing behind me.

"How did you know? Did you read my mind?"

Syaoran was unfazed by my tone as he sat on the swing next to me.

"Keep at arm's distance at all times brat." A smile tugged at my lips seeing Kero act like an overprotective parent, he and Touya were so much alike sometimes.

"Don't you have to be somewhere stuffing your face you glutton?"

"It's funny that you say that because I was just about to stuff-"

"Enough." I said "I don't feel like dealing with your macho bull crap right now. Kero, could you give Syaoran and I a minute?"

Kero murmured something about staying away from wolves as he flew away into one of the trees nearby.

"Why are you here? Are you going to follow me outside of school as well?" I stared ahead into the cherry blossoms that were blooming along the road, avoiding his eyes at all cost.

"Until you become more powerful you should have someone around at all time. That's why you have to take your training seriously."

"Oh yeah, maybe tomorrow I can move a whole pencil box with my mind."

"Sakura it was just an exercise, I don't know why you're blowing it out of proportion."

"It's not the exercise, Li" I said finally meeting his gaze "Do you really think I stormed out because you made me move a stupid pen? You've been prodding inside my head, reading my thoughts. Why is it that I always seem to be at a disadvantage when you guys are around?"

"It's not a competition Sakura. But if the mind reading really bothers you then I'll teach you how to protect your mind. But first you need to be able to control the essence, and for that you need to be able to focus. What you did today with the pen wasn't manipulating the essence, that was letting your emotions manipulate you."

"Why can't I just use my staff like before?" The star pendant felt heavy around my neck, I pushed away a dreadful chill as I faced Syaoran.

"The staff is merely a conductor, it doesn't allow for free reign-Wait" Syaoran was suddenly on top of me, protecting me from a dark blast coming our way.

Eris.

Syaoran helped me up, keeping a protective arm around me waist. I watched as Eris materialized herself in the middle of Penguin Park, the cherry blossoms withering all around her.

"Look what we have here," She said sniffing the air as she focused on Syaoran "Your power smells delicious. Descendant of Clow Reed, you must be the current leader of the Li Clan of China. You are rumored to be as handsome as you are deadly."

"Why are you here?" Syaoran spoke through gritted teeth.

I hadn't even notice she moved until I felt her cool breath on my neck.

"I just stopped by for a little snack, it's not every day you get to taste the stars. Even when it is coming from such a mediocre magician."

Memories of Eriol's dream rushed through my mind, before I could even step away from the Dark Mistress, she sunk her fangs on the side of my neck. I felt my essence drain away as I pleaded Syaoran for help with my eyes, but he seemed frozen in place by the dark aura. Focusing on my purse lying on the floor, I summoned something-anything that could distract Eris while I got her off me.

Anxiety cluttered my brain, making it hard to focus on one single object. Li's words rushed through my head: _Don't let your emotions control you._ Taking a deep breath I felt my magic surge, Eris emitting a noise somewhere between a moan and a growl. My bag jerked off the ground, heading straight toward Eris' face. Considering my blood loss and my inexperience, my aim was off and I ended up slapping myself with the leather strap, but I managed to distract her long enough for me to escape her grasp. Adrenaline pumped through my body as I felt warmth trickle down my neck, my knees feeling like Jell-O.

Before I could even track his movements, Syaoran had his sword to Eris' neck. I felt the pull of the wind as it gathered around them, creating a miniature tornado that lifted them twenty feet above the ground. Syaoran summoned thunder and jumped out of the way, hitting Eris straight in the chest. She dematerialized into a cloud of smoke before appearing a couple feet away, her crimson eyes shone with murderous intent.

Eris wielded the now dead branches of the cherry blossoms, using them as spears as she released them all on one target. Me. I focused on the dead branches, visualizing them stopping in mid-air, only to find them still heading toward me. An earth dome erupted around me, shielding me from the incoming attack. The fight raged on outside the dome, its hard exterior effectively keeping me isolated from the fight. The dome began to glow with specs of gold and green, raining down healing magic on my wounded neck. Even as he battled, Syaoran continued to protect me.

"So protective over one little insignificant magician. Maybe after I'm done with you I'll make her my little pet and dissect whatever it is that draws you to her."

"Leave Sakura out of this. This fight is between you and me."

"I don't know," I felt my body disintegrate and rematerialize in Eris' hold once again, the comfort of my healing dome long gone "I could definitely see her physical appeal, but she seems to be lacking a little…substance."

A scream tore through my throat as I felt her hand dig into my stomach, this time not only draining me of my power, but of my life force as well, before she threw me back on the ground like a bag of garbage. Syaoran was immediately by my side, pressing his hand against my gushing abdomen, stopping most of the bleeding. His lips formed words I couldn't understand, it wasn't long until I felt the warmth of his hand leave me, his body moved like lightning, slashing Eris in half with his sword.

I let myself smile at the thought of the Dark Mistress being gone. I looked over at the corpse slumping on the floor, a pair of familiar blue eyes stared blankly ahead.

An impostor.

I couldn't read the expression on Syaoran's face as he picked me up from the bloody puddle on the floor, and shielded my eyes from the scene. But it was too late, I had already recognized the girl. It was the teaching assistant from this morning.

…

…

…

Author's Note:

Okay, I'm officially changing the rating. I really didn't think I was going to make it this dark…or make Eris such a blood thirsty monster…if a lot of you feel uncomfortable with this chapter and how the whole story is going…let me know and I'll re-upload this chapter and tone it down. I hadn't realized how frustrated I was until I wrote this chapter. Oh god…I'm rethinking even uploading this. Don't hate me…..

Also, thank you to all those who reviewed! I will really take the whole active voice vs. passive voice (Starlight Dawn) into consideration for my next fic since I can't just change the tone from one chapter to the next. And I apologize for the OOC of the characters once again, but the truth is that they are probably going to stay that way considering how the story is going. I'll try to integrate more of their character.

Please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, Clamp does. I'm just a high school student who writes fan fiction even though she should be studying for her AP exams in two days.


	7. Chapter 5: Hostile Spring

Chapter 5

I tried to ignore the sudden urge to throw up, but bile still rose up until I was emptying my stomach while I was still in Syaoran's arms. There are many things I should have been:

I should have been embarrassed.

I should have been mortified of all the blood.

I should have been hysterical over the fact that I couldn't feel my left arm.

Those would have been normal reactions to the situation; instead, I was staring into the pair of blue eyes that stared blankly ahead.

Somewhere in between Syaoran's comforting comments and warm embrace I felt his healing magic flicker until it just stopped. I guess even the leader of the Li clan had to have his limits. Cursing underneath his breath he laid me down on a nearby bench, creating a distance between me and the lifeless body. I caught a flash of movement form the corner of my eye, but I refused to look away from the woman that died because of _me._ The girl whose name I didn't even know. Was it Rina? Or perhaps something more Anglican?

I didn't stir when I heard Kero call my name. I didn't advert my eyes when I heard the soft _thud_ as he landed next to the bench…maybe her name was Lana. She looked like her name was Lana.

"You were supposed to protect her Li."

"Now is not the time to argue Cerberus. You can blame me all you want later, but right now we need to take care of Sakura."

I faded in and out of the conversation, they spoke way too urgently for me to catch a single word they were saying, they just kept fighting about some kind of medicine.

"I stopped most of the bleeding, there is no need for such a drastic measure. She'll be fine."

"Does she look fine? She's not Li, her body is shutting down as we speak. Her spiritual canals have been disrupted and it's not allowing for her essence to flow…she could go into cardiac arrest at any minute. The flame of Pyriphlegethonis the only way to restore the canals."

Numbness spread throughout my body and I allowed myself to think about the blissfulness of nothingness. My eye lids became heavy as I considered meeting the mystery girl in another world-in another life. Maybe then I'll be able to ask her name…or perhaps I'll drift into oblivion, where nothingness will swallow my guilt until I didn't feel anything anymore.

"Sakura, stay with me. Don't close your eyes. Wake up. Sakura please-"

I could feel the sweet caresses of darkness as they lulled me deeper into nothingness. It was nice.

"Do what you must, dammit. Just save her."

A silky soft blanket of feathers encased my body, but the soft sentiment was gone when they tightened around me like a restraint, holding me in place as they engulfed me in flames. A molten chord stretched throughout my body, binding and sealing until it reached the depth of my core. The flame inside grew hotter and hotter until they almost felt cold, their intensity frying my nervous system from within.

I wasn't sure when I was finally released from Kero's hold, but my insides continued to simmer even as Syaoran placed me inside a car-and well into the hours of the night. I didn't shed a single tear, knowing that only time could extinguish the flames.

-X—

When the burning finally stopped I found myself back in my apartment, lying next to Syaoran in the darkness and comfort of my bedroom. His arm was around my waist, holding me so close that my head was practically lying on his chest. I couldn't resist taking a peek at his sleeping face, noting how much younger he looked when he was sleeping. He looked so vulnerable, yet as he held me close I thought back to all the times he's kept me safe-like today-and I could hardly think of a time when I felt safer.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that watching people sleep is creepy?" A breath taking sleepy smirk adorned his already perfect face, sending a different kind of warmth throughout my body.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that sleeping on other people's beds uninvited is rude?" I said as I attempted to roll out of his hold and onto the other side of the bed.

"Why getting all shy all of a sudden Sakura? Don't act like you don't want me in your bed." He tightened his hold around my waist, bringing me right back into the position I started in.

"And why would I want you in my bed _Syaoran?_"

His reaction was lightning fast. He shifted his weight so that he was now on top and that his mouth was right next to my ear. I could already hear the smirk in his voice.

"Because you know my magic is not the only thing that gets your blood boiling."

As if to prove his point my blood rushed to my cheeks, betraying the cool mask I was trying to pull off. I tore my eyes away from his perfect physique and channeled my inner actress, forcing a nearly hysterical laugh as I managed to slip from underneath his hold and planted myself firmly on the floor.

"Your ego knows no bounds does it? You're not as hot as you think you are Li."

I somehow managed to say that with a straight face, and in all honesty I think I deserved an Oscar. I was probably the first female in the universe who had ever said that to him. For God's sake, Syaoran Li had a face and body that would make a nun blush. And here he was. In my bed. Yay.

I tried to keep as much distance as I could from him, knowing all too well that self-control wasn't my strongest point. In my not-so-discreet attempt to flee the bedroom I bumped into my mirror, finally getting a good look at myself. My hair was a lost cause, it stood in every other direction like if I was the spokesperson for bed-head. But my hair disaster wasn't even the biggest eyesore, it was the fact that I was glowing. My skin shone with a red-tinted hue that made me look like I belonged in Mars.

"What is this?" I couldn't keep the hysteria out of my voice "Why am I glowing like a Christmas ornament?"

Syaoran looked like he was trying really hard not to laugh "It's just a side effect to Pyriphlegethon's healing. It should wear off in a couple of hours."

"Pyrihlegethon?" A segment from Richards' class came to mind "As in one of the rivers in the Underworld? That's just a Greek myth."

"Sakura, think about it. Pagan gods were the original wielders of the essence. Is it really so hard to believe that these '_myths'_ are real when you defy society's 'reality' everyday by using magic?"

I never thought of that. But other myths were simply ridiculous.

"Werewolves?"

"Soul transfer gone wrong."

"Vampires?"

"Reanimation of the dead. Extreme dark magic that requires sacrifices, therefore the need for blood. They're extinct since the nineteenth century."

"You seem to know a lot about this stuff."

He shrugged "It's my- our world Sakura. Once you open up your mind you can get a glimpse of what the real world is like. Even if I study every book on magic, I still won't be able to see the world in its purest form…but that doesn't stop me from trying."

He really loved magic. I sat down at the foot of the bed as I listened intently as he rambled on, noting how the corners of his lips hitched up when he found something especially fascinating. All this time I had been trying to find traces of the Syaoran from ten years ago, yet I failed to see that he grew up. In his eyes I saw what I always saw in Eriol's, the serene look of someone who holds great amounts of knowledge and power.

"I'm sorry, I'm rambling aren't I?" A pink hue tainted his cheeks "How rude of me. I haven't even asked you how you're feeling."

Syaoran Li was blushing. I guess some things never change.

"Physically I feel fine, but spending hours feeling like I was being burned alive did wonders for my sanity." Although I was trying to keep the mood light, a shadow still crossed Syaoran's face.

His shoulder's visibly tensed and mouth was set on a hard line, his movements were rigid as he paced the length of the room "Sakura, today shouldn't have happened," he stared down at his hands, disgust evident in his eyes "Cerberus was kept out of the park by Eris' force field. If she had wanted to steal the essence she would have gone after him directly. This is the second time she comes after you, and that little display of power she put on today only reveled two things: that she could be anyone, and that she can transform to look like anyone. Meaning that even the appearance she has now may be a façade."

"What happened to the…" I couldn't even bring myself to finish the question, not completely sure I wanted to hear the answer.

"Eriol took care of it. As far as her parents know she was killed in a car accident after she lost control of the car and flipped into a ravine."

"Why couldn't we have used the fire of Pyriphlegethon like you did with me to save her?"

"She was already dead, the flames can cure any injury but they can't bring people back to life. Even if that weren't the case, the flames are too strong to be used on mortals. They would have incinerated her body."

A heavy silence fell between us, it was clear Syaoran felt guilty for killing that girl, even thought she was Eris at the time. I closed the distance between us and held him close, feeling the tension leave his body as he wrapped his arms around me. We shared the guilt as we stayed in each other's arms, vowing not only share the burden, but to make sure that innocent people where not hurt again.

-X—

When we finally pulled apart I felt a chill on my bare legs. That's when I noticed what I was wearing.

"Syaoran, what am I wearing?" I said gesturing to my clothes.

He looked at me like if the question made no sense "Pajamas."

"I know they are pajamas you dobe. But _how_ did I get _into_ the pajamas?" My cheeks were aflame as I tried to look as intimidating as possible while wearing my teddy bear stamped shorts and my _Keep Calm and Kill Zombies_ t-shirt. Oh god, the bastard had the cheekiest grin I've ever seen plastered on his face.

"You didn't." His grin only got wider.

"Come on Sakura. I'm a magician, why would I go through the trouble of undressing a beautiful woman by hand when I could just use magic." The sarcasm was not lost in me, I was just about to throw my lamp at him when he spoke up again "I didn't see anything, I swear! You were practically in a bikini in the 3.5 seconds it took for the pajamas to appear on your body."

My blush got deeper and my red glow grew brighter, making me look like Rudolph's nose. Syaoran didn't even try to hide his laughter as he nearly started rolling on the floor. Reaching for the lamp once again I threw it at his face, hoping to somewhat damage his perfect complexion. Sadly he just stopped it in mid-air, levitating it until it was on the nightstand once again. "Nice tattoo by the way."

All humor vanished in an instant "What tattoo?"

"The branch-like tattoo on your back, the cherry blossom tree branches with the buds." Confusion edged his features. He must have imagined it, I wouldn't even go near a tattoo parlor and their needles from hell.

"Syaoran, I don't have a tattoo." I walked toward my mirror and took off my shirt, no longer caring if he saw me or not. And there it was. A black, dried up leafless tree stretching across my back, one flower bud on all of twelve branches.

"I didn't have this this morning."

Just as my fingers touched the tattoo, a red liquid emerged from it, slowly floating in the air until it reached my mirror. A strong metallic smell filled the room. Blood. Spelling out a message from the she-devil herself:

_If only you knew what lies inside your heart._

Pain shot down my spine, branching out into one of the buds on my back.

"Sakura, your back it's…"

I stared into the blood stained mirror, watching in horror as the bud bloomed into a black cherry blossom.

_Let me help you bloom._

Author's Note: Hello everyone! Sorry I couldn't post this earlier, I had another AP test this morning (One more to go! YAY!) I'll make today's note short and sweet. But I would love to hear from you guys. What do you think the tattoo is? I don't even know myself...yet. Please review your answers…or just your general comments on the story. When you guys don't review I start feeling like I already messed up the story and I get discouraged to write…so please give me some kind of feedback! It doesn't have to be positive!

-Stay Golden

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, the characters all belong to CLAMP…but this story belongs to me.


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